Matsuri no Daisuki

Reserved for Happiness

2010-06-23T19:53:00.001+08:00

Because revenge was the sweetest gift I got.

The chaos settled down, half of the truth was spilled, and I’m starting a new book of my life with a brand new chapter. This time major changes would be done, and that includes my parent’s consent when dealing with things. Seriously, everything messed up and in the end .. I’m fooled..for the third time.

I’m still having thoughts for FORWARD. I already got an application and a referral, but that would mean a hell of a ride at Main which would be a big disadvantage on my part. The tests keeps on pilling up, and I really wished I took up summer courses so my work would be less of a hassle, but blah… there were so many things that happened, and so many expectations burned. Ah, I wished I went to Portofino, but someone offered to take me there with a damn fee of course :))

New friends are awesome :) I’m glad I could easily mingle with people. Most of them came from the south too, I wish I could collaborate with them someday :)

Tomorrow’s a Major Subject day with three exams.Enrolment keys @ the CMS are already activated, but I still can’t sum up my ass to read these handouts :))

Breakeven Female Version

2010-06-23T19:34:00.001+08:00

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,
'Coz I got time while he got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even.

His best days will be some of my worst,
He finally met a girl that's gonna put him first,
While I'm wide awake, he's no trouble sleeping,

'Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even, even.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Coz he's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks
no it don't break even, even no.

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces

(One still in love
while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces,
(Cuz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even)

You got her heart and my heart and you felt none of the pain,
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryn’ to make sense of what little remains, oh.
'Coz you left me with no love, with no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,
'Coz I got time while he got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break, no it don't
break, no it don't break even no.

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces,

(One still in love
while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces,
(Cuz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even)
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, It don't break even, no

Original song and lyrics by: The Script
Sang and edited by : Me

I am…..

2010-06-03T22:43:00.001+08:00

I am so tiny and insignificant. Even when the world wipes away my presence, nobody would notice it.

Tomorrow’s judgment day for me. I just hope something would happen. I forgot where I got this quote though, it was from a shoujo manga I think. Ah..never mind.

Hits the right spot….

2010-06-03T12:54:00.001+08:00

Running away from something just means that something would be following you wherever you go. If in terms of the theory of relativity, the problem would be gravity, the one running would be earth. It accelerates over time. You could never run away from it, it tags along with you and before you knew it, you’re running into it’s trap.

Continuing from my previous post, playing Ace Attorney just hits me where I needed the most. Sometimes I wish I could run away from my problems, but I know it would just tag along with me. I thought I was doing the right lately, but reality is already pushing me to accept that I’m alone all over again. I could have coped up with it until now, I’ve been here before, it just feels so nostalgic.

I’m standing on an empty stagnant place, it’s still hard to believe I’m not talking to anyone about anything. Not even my college friends are available, I’m only fondling with what’s left of my sanity to stuff toys, talking to this blog, and torn sketchbooks. I feel so insignificant, Dad tried to cheer me up and we went to the mall yesterday but I just can’t help it. Flashbacks just kept on revealing itself.

Nobody’s here when I needed them the most, even my sister is worried. I feel so sluggish, I want something to do. Tomorrow will be elementary reunion day, hmm… I just wish I could talk to someone on that day. I guess I’ll start packing now.

Objection!!

2010-06-03T12:31:00.001+08:00

Our House Mascot. My brother would always make him say “Fuck you” in a cute way with his girly voice. Whenever were bored, we find ourselves searching relentlessly to this cute pup and pretend he wants to cheer us up by saying insane stuff like “Hello, i like your #$%$&#%..hell yeah fuck you!” –well yeah, you get the idea.

His soft paws punched our faces when were down, and that really felt better. My little sister however, is his arch nemesis. It would always end up with her pounding and deforming it’s head. My brother would rush to the scene and would fix it.

Turmoil

2010-06-02T13:13:00.001+08:00

Just when I was about to think that everything would be okay after all that it’s just getting worse and worse. The heavens must have hated me for something, or probably I waiting for the long queue to make-my-life-ok requests.

I still can’t believe I’m in the same level as my brother now, he teased me with a talking stuff toy and now were pretending it talked. Well at least my sister is enjoying the mini weirdo show we put up.

I received a text message from the ssc president today, wear black on June 8 eh? It sounds like an uprising to me :\

To ease up my stress, I’m really glad someone recommended me to watch [x] this

So I asked…..

2010-06-01T19:39:00.001+08:00

I woke up at 5 and continued searching for my cell phone. I broke my toe nail when the wooden frame shunned. But at least I got my phone back, I checked the call log but nothing was there so I used my moms phone and sent a message to the birthday boy. It was 7pm when my phone fully charged, still waiting for a call, still nothing was there.

The free time got me thinking about my Aunt’s comments, so I asked to the quiet thin air what could have gone wrong. I rummaged my social network account only to find out the answer. The empty calls, the non-frequent communication, and the secret of his phone. I’ve found my answer that I was not in the mood for a cheery celebration. I tried practicing to smile in front of the mirror but the heat didn’t gave me a bright cheery atmosphere.

When the party was over, several colleagues told me it was gonna be ok. I thought it would be, that got me reflecting more again. I probably be the greatest fool on earth to play with the game at his hand. To think, I begged for a relationship, tried waiting for an answer, giving some time, and still his lips said that at least there’s a couple that stayed like a couple since high school.

What was I thinking betting everything for this guy when all I do was to cling on false hope? I was turned into a joke, a mere joke to show off in front of friends. I didn’t realize it was déjà vu all over again. This happened before but it’s much worse. I became a party pooper before I know it.

He speed up after I closed the door of his car, that scratched my little finger. He didn’t even tried to look back or say anything. So that’s left me to one conclusion………

Some people say it’s Karma, before I knew it, I really should have not worried nor tried to get my hopes up. He wasn’t the one I used to know, Auntie was right. People change……they change too much that it’s hard to recognize them anymore. I feared he was going to slip away someday, I never thought it would be today.The one thing I’m clinging to and hoping for gone in an instant. So I guess my dad’s warning really got through me, relationships are not everything I would have hoped for.

I told myself I wont miss you.. But I remembered… What it feels like beside you….

I figured everything out

2010-06-01T09:15:00.001+08:00

Why he didn’t bother to contact me while I was away.

Why he didn’t bother to talk to me even if his summer class is over.

Why he won’t come anymore.

Why he acted funny when I grabbed his phone.

Now I know

Rejection

2010-05-24T17:54:00.001+08:00

To reject or be rejected, the mere questions that leads to this broken hearted girl. Rejection runs in the blood of our family, to hate, to disgust, to be looked down upon on. I used to think I could adjust to the words of a silent assassin but everything blew off eventually. I was rejected, by my closest people.

I can’t express it in fancy words but I’d say

It’s noting fancy, It’s not good , It was never easy to avoid, It was a pain to describe it, and it fucking hurts

I’m just resisting the temptation to cut my own life because I still can’t find a valid reason to do it. Living on bearing pain is probably better than carrying nothing at all. Breaking down may be the worst idea I could think of as an ending, but it’s not like I have a choice in this damnation.

A topsy-turvey day and some wishful thinking~

2010-05-24T16:44:00.001+08:00

Today was definitely weird. So I went to school for enrolment, I met my friends and proceeded. It could have turned out smoothly but unfortunately my grades were misplaced. I swear I turned pale as and my blood was rushing so fast that I sweated so hard, I don’t know what to do. My phobia of crowd came back, and my fingers were shaking as I wrote the schedule plan with my hand.

I’m just glad that buu was there, he escorted me back at my house and helped me searched for it. Unfortunately, nothing was there. So we ended up talking about our relationship; and I teased him about a lot of stuff. I put on my best fake brave face and asked him about our relationship status, but he said we were just at the MU level. [mutual understanding stage].

Somehow I could feel my eye sockets moist but I held it up till he rode back to his car and never waved back. It was his decision after all, that’s probably the last time I would ask for it again, I’ll just wait till he forgives me.

Ah, I just can’t believe how powerless and miserable I am when I recall what happened earlier. To think I ran off at school because I’m soo weak to overcome fear of people and the final blow where my ex told me the feelings are just plain mutual can be so fatal. What kind fuckery is this?! I sometimes wish I was more reliable, more mature or even more responsible. I suck, I can easily crawl back to my shell and somehow I’d wish dad would forgive me for being a shy retarded daughter.

Yes I’m a failure, the society somehow hates me and the only thing that’s been there loyally by my side is my sister. To think I fell so low, so deep that I can now blame every looser day I have to that one above all things. To think I sound like an emotional fuck, I'm breaking so fast………………..

Admirable and I’m just too lucky

2010-05-16T07:58:00.001+08:00

Buu and I settled some things when he returned here at our house. Every moment when I was with him felt so nostalgic and warm. We teased him, it was cute to see him blush. I didn’t know what to say, I was ashamed to even talk to him that I buried my face on my palms trying to lose some of my composure and be funny about it.

I even thought maybe there was no chance of seeing him again, I really thought he hated me. But instead he left me messages full of regret all over my social network without me noticing it since I tried avoiding all of it to forget everything. It was a surprise when he came home. I was even more ashamed, I was suppose to do that but he lowered himself too greatly that it was too admirable to see it.

He was so loyal and my acts were too treacherous. It was love, it was overflowing that I was so ashamed not to even notice it since the day that we were going out. Indeed I was too blind to even grasp happiness that was in front of me. I was being too selfish and prideful.

Right now, he’s still thinking things through. We’re not back on track yet, but I really hope he will give me another chance; and this time I want to set every little thing right.

Top 10 mysteries of a girl’s heart

2010-05-16T07:36:00.001+08:00

1. She asks you for advice but becomes angry when you give it

2. Her feelings are hurt if you fail to notice a change in hairstyle

3. Your love for her is measured by the frequency of your calls and emails

4. She wants to make you say “I love you”

5. She’s angry with you if you actually go home after she asks you to

6. She uses “I’ll break up with you” as a bargaining chip

7. She never expresses things directly with words but instead makes you read between the lines

8. When you are alone together her attitude differs completely from when you are with other people

9. She wants you to express your love through deeds

10. She immediately wants any new product

Wow, I find it so true. Not to mention, 1-9 hurts me pretty bad.

The downfall of an avid blogger

2010-05-08T19:26:00.001+08:00

I went blog hopping yesterday and visited my old blogs. I tried comparing my old post to my new blog posts and sad to say, my old blog was definitely better. I still cant believe I was soo good in writing articles before and attracting visitors were so easy. So this is what they call the rise and fall?

Dammit! After consequently failing my math during my highschool days my interesting in blogging was dimming but now it’s summer I tried my best bringing back my talent of writing posts but it’s not gonna be easy. Compared to my old blog posts, my familiarity with words dropped to 60%. I can’t even remember the meaning of some complicated words.

It’s really hard to attract visitors unless of course your such a pro at communicating. I’m really stressed out that the fact that I no longer had this talent to attract interestin conversation. Right now I’m trying to read Harry Potter books for inspiration. Cheer me on guys!

Growing up is scary...

2010-05-05T04:36:00.001+08:00

A few moments ago my brother beat me up for not sharing V-Cut (a potato junkfood). Stupid reason, but hell it was painful. My dad is so gay, he didn't even scold him, and my Mom is the worst, pushing all the blame on me because she's fucking afraid of my brothers fists. Stupid retards, so much for wishing them good fortune when they retire.

This is why I really hate family camps because nothing ever changes no matter how I pray at God. It's not like I hate him, I already know shit happens. It's always like that, whenever you reach the puberty period everything turns crazy and fucked up. So much for saying dramas are so corny, lately I've got a feeling to believe in TV too.

So where am I getting at? Well I finally had this conclusion why childhood is always made up of rainbows and hope, because adults have already foreseen it. The upcomming storm of course. It's like a game, without given much of hope when you're a child of course you'll get in trouble when you grow up. It would be hard to adjust until you made a total mess of yourself.

I want to grow up even faster, somehow I'm stuck in this house with people not feel like being a family. I want to grow up and be a responsible person, and maybe a better mother than my mom. No one understands my problem with them, even if I share it , no one could understand and help me with this. I'm all alone, this is what would happen when you grow up. Independence day.

Wow, I made 3 posts in 1 night. What ....an ~~idiot~~...........

Waking too much and sleeping too much

2010-05-05T04:19:00.001+08:00

There are so many tasks to make me pre-occupied. Lets see..

Making posts at Shinkai Summit

Site maintenance

Drawing practice

Photoshop practice

Javascript practice

I'm not a health conscious person thats why my weight has been changing frequently, so I guess I'll log these activities for now to remind me to stop being a sober. Oh, and my english grammar is getting really bad lately. I should read novels, I'm probably exposed with too much radiation lately, or my brain cells are just dying out on its own.

So i guess I'll avoid computer related stuff right now that makes the list useless huh? And who the fuck can debug on paper? I've already failed at that.

The lack of sleep is making me feel better, I should probably change my sleeping hours to waking up hours to avoid too much activities. In the meantime I want to go to a nearby beach this week, the taste of siomai just makes me wanna go out. I have not toured anywhere this summer, this sucks. It's probably because I was expecting too much.

"Damn you summer diety! You made me feel lonelier everyday, why wont you just show up and let's play strip cards! "- oh how I wish I could say that!

Breathing...slowly

2010-05-05T03:04:00.000+08:00

Maybe I was too pale, mabye I was to fat maybe you had better, better luck in the sack. No formal education and I swore way to much, but I swear you didn't fucking care, cause we were in love. So as I write this letter and shead my last tear. Its all for the better than we had this yearlets close this chapter, say one last prayerbut don't say that you loved me

-Katy Perry-

*sigh* Lately I've been having this stupid feeling that he wont ever show up again and the ironic part of it...it really did happened. He probably had given up on me.

Well duh? Didn't he already said that to me? Haha...so much for that hope. Fuck it hurts.

So is this is it huh? This really is reality. I really can't do about it anymore, so much for pretending not to be lonely this summer, this has gotta be my worst season. I might as well do some community service for a while to avoid computer and probably, just probably, be able to get over this too because lately I've been waiting like a fool and fuck yeah I deserve this misery!

I've been acting immature and wanting him to miss me soo much but it backfire. So long loneliness and hello community service.

Past Woes …

2010-04-13T08:29:00.001+08:00

I’m happy to hear that buu made an effort talking to me even though were not the couple anymore. Sure I don’t mind listening to him regretting but bringing up the past and telling me I’m immature sure is…pretty convenient to him.

So 2 years of our relationship and it now concludes that all my efforts were not particularly counted. Buu told me he had more effort and the reason why he’s not the same guy I used to know before is because he’s mature…..seriously…I had a wtf moment in an instant.

Well, to start I think it’s not maturity at all. He was actually dreading the fact that I made no effort with that in mind, the two years of our relationship screwed up. So that’s why he was beginning to be cold towards me, he didn’t even open it up when we were fighting. Whats worse? I couldn’t sum up the courage to say these words to him. Pretty sure he’ll read this one..

I was encouraged by my classmate not to make hasty moves. Obviously I enjoyed teasing him by putting up the “beh” act but I think I overdid it.

Yeah, I could not find a man that is better than buu. Honestly, I probably can’t find one like him anymore.

I’m sorry buu, but you still have a big space in my heart.

To Plan or Not To……

2010-04-12T10:30:00.001+08:00

So bear and I are talking again. I guess everything is back to normal but I took the initiative to ask if he wanted to meet-up or some sort but he gladly took the offer.

Now all that’s left is the planning, but it ended up like a wreck. I don’t know, but he seems like a confusing guy to begin with.

You could say he’s shady, with his past and all but …ugh…he always left me with frustration. What a hard guy deal. But I’m fine with that.. lol !

Plan sheet:

Mountain View – it’s common to him
Beach – he got doubts
SM – he’s fine with it…but it burns a hole in my pocket

We ran out of ideas afterwards and before we knew it…he’s on duty again

Just emptiness fills me

2010-04-12T08:19:00.001+08:00

I’m giving up. That’s the least of what I could do for now. I really wish my dad could pull off the planned make-over in time. For the meantime, I drew bear last night. I don't know if were on a huge fight…basically were confused. ~~So much for communication~~

*sigh* If only he knows how desperate I was contacting him. I think I should follow what Pat said….to try and ignore method. Hmm..I wonder if it works

That aside, my eye-bags have been growing lately.It’s probably because of the countless sacks of tears I’ve been letting out lately.

Here’s Bear’s anime render by me and my sis. It’s a collaboration and i made dozen of trials because seriously…his hair was hard to mimic

Because baby …I’m lonely ;(

2010-04-11T21:33:00.001+08:00

I wonder if…

2010-04-11T18:33:00.001+08:00

I’m just spoiled whenever I tend to love somebody. A friend of mine always tells me how vulnerable I reacted to gestures. Well, I admit I’ve always wanted to be hugged, to hold hands, to be patted on the head, to be pinched on my cheeks, and to be called cute. Whenever someone makes me laugh I always wanted to punch their guts or pinch their faces.

I do that because I wanted to do it. My hands feels lonely if I don’t contact with a human body. I don’t know if it’s normal, but another friend of mine told me that it’s childish. If so, then is maturity a requirement for relationships? I pondered and asked myself how the heck is that going to happen?!

If i forcibly shut myself up and be mature, I’m sure it would mean killing my usual habits and gestures. Then that means, I’m going to be normal and common. That probably equals to being boring but cool. But that sounds weird, being boring and cool makes you an uninteresting person. But that probably wont apply to some relationships. But it’s hard to keep you true self a secret. It always surfaces when you least notice it.

So much for that thought, lately I’ve been finding myself relating to Justin Bieber’s songs. Am I really turning myself into one of these lonely girls he’s singing for? But at least I’m happy someone sings me songs in a man’s point of view as it really gets lonelier everyday. Text messages just leaves an empty imprint in my heart. Loving somebody can be miserable. I’ve never been put up in this kind of situation before. Hence, I’m impressed tough most likely I wonder if everything is a mistake.

But I'm such a fool for falling in love like a mess. It’s insane, lately I find myself muttering to give up but my heart just can’t stop falling harder. Gravity might be set to a hundred negatives, or my chest just feels heavier than it was before.

Oh, and to check how much you love about Bieber you might wanna check this video [x]

Tracklisting for the empty hearts

Justin Bieber - Common Denominator *Studio version* lyrics (HQ) [x]
Justin Bieber – Up
Justin Bieber – Overboard
Justin Bieber – One less lonely girl

The hardest part to loving someone for the first time..

2010-04-11T13:59:00.001+08:00

Is the fear of loosing someone again
Is the regret for the feeling that you can’t make someone satisfied
The instances of mentioning x’s without knowing you’ve hurt your partner already
The need to adjust
The lack of chances
The tendency of your partner to lose his/her interest
The fear of being discouraged
The fear of being used and rejected
The tendency of your partner to compare you with his/her ex
The trouble of opening up a good topic

It’s definitely hard to love someone, especially if you do not know much about him. The huge gap probably lies on how much you have known each other. I know my strengths and weaknesses about love but loving someone who’s gentle and sensitive definitely needs to be worked out. I’ve been good with the wild types but…the gentle ones makes you feel nervous. I admit, people like these are so fragile. I can’t even come up with a crack joke to make that person smile. I need some advice and strategies from the experienced. How can I make this person notice my efforts?

It’s sad really, we don’t see each other personally and we only rely on text messages. It’s frustrating on my part because his ex still makes a move. Ack..should I give up? This has been making me cry since last week. T_T

Au revior

2010-04-09T09:36:00.001+08:00

What’s the worse part after breaking up?

The awful truth of course.

So I summed up what’s left of my courage to go to their house. I hoped everything is going to be ok. The funny part of that occasion was him constantly teasing me. He rummage through my bag and checked for messages of what he thought as me new guy. It was just a light message of my friend to eat properly and a mere greeting but he took it as another meaning. Even though I didn't even erased my inbox and outboxes for him to see, he still thinks of me as a constant fall-in love type of girl.

A few minutes after, I caught him texting somebody. I trusted that it was his best friend but I caught glimpse of him opening a topic to another girl. It was unfair for me that he wont let me see his phone while he forces me to show mine. So I took his phone from his hands and read the message from his inbox. So my suspicions were right all along, he already made his first move to another girl.

I asked him for details but he used the facebook incident to cover up his mistake.

He told me why I erased chat messages between me and Bear*, I couldn’t say such information. I’ve never been a good chatter to Bear and honestly I can’t even pick up a good topic unlike me and my ex. The conversation was filled with Bear’s problems with his family and sometimes I nag about myself. It was a total embarrassment. It’s like were counseling for each other. Most of the time I left his window tab on my facebook, he wont show up much so his name on the tab is left there in case he goes online again.

Nothing matter after that, I don’t felt like watching the iron man movie anymore. I tried going home early so I wont mind this incident but he pleaded that I should finish the movie instead. I don’t felt like talking to him anymore. I don’t feel it was alright anymore. Thoughts inside of my mind went black and I could felt my hand shivering from chills. It was an awkward feeling, sitting with someone you wish you would not see for a lifetime. It was even more suffocating looking at his face. After the movie, I really could not take it anymore and went out. He accompanied me …only for the shortest time. It was like accompanying you to an exit without a slight feeling of goodbye. He immediately turned around and went back at his house. While I was sitting on the tricycle seat wishing I should go home soon.

After arriving, I finally decided to get over this stupid feeling and start everything from scratch. I should be happy though, he already enjoyed talking to somebody else rather than me.

*Bear – epic censored name

SILENT REVERIE {PART 2}

2010-04-08T08:10:00.001+08:00

Right now I still can’t confirm I I’ve already found somebody that could remind me of him. All I’ve ever think about is to concentrate on what’s more to come. It never crossed my mind to find another man right away. I know my ex of me as such, but all I’ve ever done up until that last visit was him all along. I swear I was crying when he suddenly tickled me in a tight embrace.

It was bitter, to finally call him as my friend. It became very bitter when he didn't see me off as I exited the house. I guess this is what I get for letting my emotions get the most out of me.

Before I left I have even made some foolish promises to him. I guess it was really hard for me to let him go. I could not even imagine him beside another girl that's better than me. Mom said there would be plenty, but I wonder how I could face if ever he had one.

Rewinding back I realized my expectations were not fulfilled. I was the one who visited his house instead. I laughed as I realized that I was in his old position. The time where he used to love me to this extent. Fate switched our existence and I realized how painful it was to love me. It was painful to love him to the highest extent that he used to love me before.

I wonder if he realized it as well. I never regretted loving him. I never regretted being with him and I’ve never regretted being his girlfriend.

This is an unforgettable chapter for me to grow up, to mature. and to reflect upon. Hopefully, I should enjoy life as much as possible and maybe…just maybe… hope for another chance in the future.

Silent reverie {part 1}

2010-04-08T07:37:00.001+08:00

In the end his presence just takes my breath away.

The night before yesterday I was in deep thought of what to say to him. I silently cried that night thinking of the faded monochrome time we used to share before. Then the day that we have to face each other finally came. I was expecting.. a huge change from him. Personality-wise and manners. I put him in a test and I knew it before hand that he’ll put me into one either. Nothing changed. But me body still says that I missed him so that I sat next to him, caressing his soft face but he hated it. I know I was at fault, but all I wanted is for his former self to come back. The sunny person I loved for 2 years. The man that swept me off my feet and inspires me wherever I go.

I know that man is already gone. That moment I realized that my guidance instructor is right, no one could ever change a person the way they used to be. My friends advised me to try and accept the changes. The heck I’ve tried and I even doubled it by hugging tight whenever he comes by at our house. I used to ignore the fact that he wont hug back because he’s shy, but now I can’t seem to hold it any longer. Every time he wanted me to tell him what to do, it would just leave an empty space in my heart. The hole was getting bigger, and I think it was not love anymore. I look like a spoiled person wanting him to love me like he used to do.

The fights became more and more harsh. We shout at each other, blame one another and even saying words that is full of hatred, jealousy, and anger. I accepted the fact that his trust in me is no longer there, because of what I did before. He could no longer see me as that perfect person by his side.

I know he doesn't need me anymore. Days after the breakage, I could only hope at his return by my side. I only hoped for that brink of change, I wanted to see his old self. I wanted him to visit our house like he used to and tell me how he feels. But nothing changed, It was only silence. We communicated through instant messengers and he tells me that he wanted me to come back by his side. I could only hope that he would try a bit harder, but all I received was a 1 kb text saying to come back. Nothing changed. In the end, all it gave me was a mere heart crushing momentum.

Take me away….

2010-03-31T08:26:00.001+08:00

I feel so empty….now ;(

Smart Unlimited Texting and More

2010-03-31T07:38:00.001+08:00

So I had this huge problem with this Lady at a sari-sari store. I asked her for unlimited texting for 20 pesos and gave her a 100. Then I immediately fled the scene. When I Arrived home, dad was asking me for the change. I immediately rushed out and went back to the sari-sari store. She then answered me in a confused face “But you said it was a hundred”. I went back home disappointed and fucking pissed. I have checked the smart website but their guides are no good at all, good thing there’s this post at this website. I then formatted and arrange some parts and transferred it here for safekeeping and future references.

UNLIMITED CALL

This is the Smart’s Ultimate Unlimited Call! This Promo is available for Smart Prepaid Subscribers (Buddy) and Smart Gold Subscribers.

How to Register (Smart Buddy) ?

To register for 5 days worth Php 100.00

Text TALK100 and Send to 6400

To register for 30 days worth Php 500.00

Text TALK500 and Send to 6400

To CALL just dial *6400 + 11 digit smart number. Ex. *64000919xxxxxxx

Note: Php 1.00 airtime balance must be maintained. Applicable to Smart to Smart call only. Unlimited calls can be made anytime of the day. Not applicable to roaming or international calls. You can also load Smart Talk directly from retail outlets. For more information visit smart.com.ph

For Smart Gold Subscribers:

You can buy SMARTALK LOAD 100 or 500 from different smart load outlets.
Plan 800 and above may register by sending TALK500 to 6400
Your registration will automatically renew for 90 days. To unsubscribe, text NO and send to 6400
For more information CLICK HERE

SMART TALK PLUS 100 (5 days unlimited)

* 19 hours of unlimited calls & texts from 10pm to 5pm the next day

How to Register

Text PLUS100 to 6401

To Call:

Just dial *6401 + 11 digit smart number. Ex. *64000919xxxxxxx

Note:

Promo is open to Smart Buddy subscribers nationwide.
Unlimited calls and texts can ONLY BE USED FROM 10PM to 5PM. Calls and texts made between 5:01PM to 9:59PM while enrolled in SMARTalk will be charged with the following rates: 2.50/minute and P0.20/text.
Subscriber must have the minimum balance (P100) in order to register to SMARTalk Plus.
Unlimited calls and texts only apply to local Smart-Smart/Smart-TNT transactions.
P2.50/minute and P0.20/text rates only apply to local Smart-Smart/Smart-TNT transactions.
Any roaming, international and transactions made to other networks will be charged with regular rates.

SMART CALL ALL NIGHT FOR 15

From 11pm to 6am
Text NYT15 TO 8566
To call dial *8566 + 11 digit smart number. Ex. *85660919xxxxxxx
Calls are cut every 5 min.

UNLIMITED TEXTING

SMARTEXT PLUS 60 (unlimited text with 20 min. call for 5 days)

Enjoy unli text plus 20 minutes consumable calls to smart/tnt for 5 days
To register: send TXT60 to 6402
To call: dial *6402 + 11 digit mobile no.

How to register to Smart Unlimited text P30 for 2 Days:

Send 30 to 258

How to register to Smart Unlimited Text P60 for 5 days:

Send 60 to 258

SMART ALL TEXT MMS 20

To register: Text ATM20 to 2827
110 text/mms to smart/talk n text and 10 text to other networks
Also available ATM30 for 180 text/mms

TEXT AND CALL COMBO

FOR 25

Text and MMS all day and Call all Night
100 text/mms to Smart/TNT and 10 text to other networks PLUS unlimited call from 11pm to 6am
To register: text C25 send to 2827
To call: dial *8654 + 11 digit mobile number. Ex. *86540919xxxxxxx
Calls are cut every 5 min.
MMS must not exceed 100kb

MOBILE INTERNET PLANS

Budget Surf 50 for 5 hours and All Day Surf 100 for 12 hours
To subscribe visit: wap.smart.com.ph/dataplan using your phone.
To register to Budget Surf: Text INET BUD send to 211
To register to All Day Surf: Text INET DAY send to 211
One piso charge per SMS sent
To check account status: Text INET STATUS send to 211
Regular charge for browsing is Php 10.00/30 min.

OTHER SMART PROMOS:

Smart Piso per Minute Call (FLEXI RATE)

You only need P20 for calls up to 20 mins.

How?

To register text FLEXI send to 880 (one time free registration)
Dial *88 + cel# your calling
Example: *880919XXXXXXX

How to “Pasa” All Text 20 to your friends?

Just text <11 digit cell number [space] AT20 and send to 808
Example: 0918xxxxxxx AT20

Smart Flatrate Call:

Call up to 3 mins. for P10 and 5 mins. for P15

How?

Dial *883 + Mobile No.
Example: *88309191234567

Loosing Control

2010-03-28T00:14:00.001+08:00

But he’s hopeful that we could work this out. Grief stricken, I could only nod at his reply. There are numerous instances that I should trust my consciousness but I just can’t take it anymore. My heart, skips a beat. Can I put it back like? Can I heal it? Should I…or should i not?

To My Dearly Beloved

2010-03-28T00:05:00.001+08:00

To my dearly Beloved,